Jonny Cakes & Pinnochio!

I thought I was being immature, but it was just insecurity. Over-analysis, hypertensive thought has my panties in a twist and my mind in a jumble. Insecurity leads to needyness and clinging, which ultimately ends with him getting tired of me, and inevitable conclusion. I should know! I have known several people that become too desirable of my time and energies, and they were quickly cut out, especially the negative ones-- excised like a cancerous tumor, they were!

But weakness and fear preys on exhausted souls and I am tired from months of endless nights amongst individuals that I have no connection with, a lack of artistic inspiration, and a generally unsophisticated atmosphere which I am not accustomed to. However, there have been a many great things that have happened, too, and I look forward to those precious moments I create with my cute little gems! The Vesuvenite Vance, Emerald Evelyne, Feldspar Fabiola, Topaz Tiffany, and Sapphire Simon. The last is my favorite to carry around with, in my pocket, to be exact. I like stuffing my long fingers into my jeans and feeling the Simon Stone. It really does have magic powers! It changes colors depending on my mood, makes me feel serpentine and slippery and I ooze with affection and can't help but smile in slow-motion; the best kind of smiling, and hard to do on purpose- much less do it inadvertantly! 

I like to be vulnerable. Not because I am masochistic in any way but because everything touches me and makes me more alive, even if it sometimes hurts. I do not fear pain... well, not that much, because it is so intense to be at the mercy of good intentions. I am brave and almost feline, so I can bounce if I fall. I can do the possum roll and then lick my jagged wounds if I sustain injuries. Besides, I can always laugh at myself. In the meantime, I will be hopping on life's very precarious tight-rope with the lop-sided grin of the autistic, counting each jump and the spaces in between, thrilled that there is no net... and that there is the certainty of danger. I will throw my buoyant self into shady situations because I caught a glimmer of divinity out of the corner of my eye. And perhaps, it is time to do something about that comatose snake that lies limp in the depth of my psyche and finish him off, once and for all.
Then I can be a doll!